In Which I Suffer To Be Feminine

I feel quite silly talking about this,

Most barbarous thing I did with my day,

But I'm a girl, and I would be remiss

If regularly I did not, some way

Submit myself to standardizing pain.

My eyebrows are a trial to govern. I

Am chicken with the tweezers, but I fain

Will let another get close to my eye

With hot wax, just for pretty's sake. I trust

Just two folk with this task. They both are kind

Though I will not say gentle, for they must

Needs rip those eyebrows all asunder, find

The roots of those hairs, ruthless, pull them out

And promise not to tease me if I shout.